I am very, very hot.
Wait. No. It’s not what you think.
I just mean, literally, I’m hot. It’s 108 degrees outside and, as usual in Kentucky, the humidity is around 100%. That means it’s like being in a hot tub all day. One that’s too hot to enjoy. With all your clothes on. While you work.
Our air conditioner is straining and we really don’t like to run it all the time anyway. So we are doing everything we can to give it a break—turning it off for periods of time, closing our shades, drinking lots of lemonade.
It’s not entirely working, though. We’re still hot.
So before bed I’ve been taking hot showers to cool off. I’m serious about that. It’s so searing outside that the water in our pipes is hot even when you only turn the cold handle. But it’s still better than nothing.
I know from watching the news that we are far from alone. Chicago; Denver; St. Louis, Kansas City, Kansas; Kansas City, Missouri, the whole heart of this country, in fact, is absolutely frying. It’s so hot that a family in Coweta, Oklahoma, actually cooked their breakfast bacon on the driveway last week, according to the Huffington Post.
So, because it’s so terribly hot and because I am a sleep professional, as it were, I’ve decided to compile some tips to help you nod off even during this ferocious heat wave. Since all of these tips do involve an expenditure, I have included the approximate cost of implementing each tip (based on a two week heat wave) so that you can create a strategy to fit your budget.
Here are my tips:
TIP 1 Make fresh iced lemonade, but be sure it’s not too strong or sugary (I recommend low glycemic agave nectar as a sweetener—Weelicious has a great recipe that’s appropriate for all ages). Always have a glass in your hand and always be sure it’s well iced—it will keep you in a better mood during the day, making it easier to fall asleep at night.
Cost: Two weeks of iced agave lemonade for a thirsty (six glasses per day) family of four: $500 (really, I did the math)
TIP 2 Turn on your AC full blast; this will likely break your AC, but it might be worth it.
Cost: Full blast AC for a 3000 square foot home in 108 degree heat for two weeks: $300; air conditioning repair: $1000
TIP 3 Visit your doctor to discuss the sleep aid that’s right for you. Depending upon your physiology and medical history, this might include chamomile tea and melatonin, or perhaps something stronger, like Ambien.
Cost: Physician visit: $180; Ambien prescription: $42
TIP 4 Wear a cooling face mask to bed (the high quality cloth covered ones you refrigerate or freeze).
Cost: Cooling face mask: $30
TIP 5 Install a ceiling fan.
Cost: Fan: $200; installation: $85
The tips above should help your keep your cool and fall asleep during this heat wave. As you can see, I estimate that the total cost for sleeping well during a two-week, triple-digit heat wave is around $2337.
But Bill and I have slept well without doing most of the things I describe above because, of course, the very best way to sleep in all conditions is to have excellent bedding. Plus, one set of fine linens will last you indefinitely, keeping you well rested during every season for years to come—well beyond a two-week heat wave.
Of course, I’m a little biased. But guess what? I’ve just helped you rationalize a $2337 linens budget! Think cool, eiderdown pillows or linen, silk, or light cotton sheets (like Celeste). The key is natural fabrics which "breathe" not synthetics which do not. The St. Dormeir washable wool mattress protector is a good addition, too. It has a 'cooling" effect in that it will wick moisture away from your body as you perspire.
If you decide to pursue linens instead of my other tips, you can freeze your pillows all day long and take them out just before bed for a soothing journey to Sleepy Town. You can or spritz your sheets with water to create a cooling evaporative effect. Since this tip works best with circulating air, you might have to adjust your linens budget to $2052 if you don’t have a fan installed yet.
Of course, as always, if you can’t make up your mind, just give me a call and I’ll personally help you navigate our huge selection of fine linens. Together we’ll find exactly what you need to stay cool and make your bedroom look fabulous.
That’s way better than a fist full of Ambien (but the lemonade is actually worth a try--even with new linens)!

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